Qutting marathon ?

This trying to quit smoking thing seems not as difficult but not as easy as I might have thought of either ends of if.

Till date, this is the first 52hours I've gone without a puff since my last quitting stint (3weeks w/o) in July. Yes, I barely started. However, I think the real addiction's kicking in.

Stomach cramps, yes.

Chest tightening, yes.

Breathing difficulties, yes.

Depress, maybe a lil bit.

I've got a feeling I might jump back in on the bandwagon once I meet up with the mates this weekend.

Sigh.

C

'Cheating only counts when you are married.' - East coast, USA.

Does it ?

I suspect he did already.

A few weeks ago he suddenly went MIA.

Only to return my call at 1am in the morning, saying he fell asleep straight after work.

What a bastard.

Mich from uni said its supicious.

mmm.... I only feel a tinge of guilt when I cheat on him w/o cash.

  When, I'm on the job I just treat it like a ... bonus...

After all with all that fine dining and wining in London town, someone has to foot the bill...

its in you.

*I woke up today to the strangest dream. My liver was hurting again.I wonder if it was really hurting or was I just dreaming. Also, in the dream WG & I have arrived in Singapore and were travelling about.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about my devious Monday night.

So vengeance bit me hard from being ban from partying over the weekends.

I made a decision that if I don't have a good time partying this week I'll never be able to.

Also, finding out that he lied about the people he slept with previously added to my annoyance.

*yes, I know despite my cheating behavior, I'm still human and am allowed to be puritanical. 


 Plus, what you don't know won't hurt you.  No ?

Reached home at 9pm from the library,chucked 'Frida'on to the player watch it whilst I rolled and puffed a few joints + changed into my party outfit.

Sat around for that good 119mins the flim was playing,preparing for my sweet revenge break.

I called up a couple of my gay mates who always knew a good party going on any time of the week.

It was close to 1am when decided to drag my lazy butt out.

Dress in a tight scrunchy fushia pink dress Joel bought me last winter... I hit the bars like a 18year old.

I bumped into a swede I had a fling with once and bought him back - fucked him on the roof-top and told him

'thanks for the 'ride' you can leave now. sorry, I just don't like inviting people into my house.'

so, i guess once you ever ever started cheating.

'Its in you.'

Like, lost virginity.

Reduction & the lost halloween.

So, I did reduce the amount of ciggie intake over the last week. Yay ?

I'm still sulking over not being able to party this 'halloween' weekend.

I've always always done halloween. Except for this year.

Because of that fucked up poof - WG.

All he wanted to do was stay home and watch TV.

I told him he could do that while I head out doing my own thing. After all we bought the costume already.

I'm annoyed with him.

He threw such a huge hissy fit at me because I wanted to go out.

I feel like a caged bird.